Archive for September, 2006

Gimme the Gear(s): The Big Beta Blowout Sale

Although summer only ‘officially’ ended a week ago, all wet, windy indications would put the actual date of its departure somewhere around mid-August. Fear not intrepid readers, through a semi-frequent dose of simulated light called ‘Gimme The Gear(s)’ we’ll vainly attempt to artificially brighten the darker corners of the bleak winter ahead with the bottled sunshine of retail therapy and the Fake. bake of conspicious consuption. It’s about the merch yo! Or, to put it another way, in the words of Bill Clinton: “It’s the economy, stupid!” Continue reading ‘Gimme the Gear(s): The Big Beta Blowout Sale’


Food Dare: ‘Fowl Times’

Food and sex have been analogized ad nauseum and I find no small amount of delight in the fact that among the qualities they share is an interesting relationship to craving: it seems I always want more of either immediately after I’ve had some. But there’s no ‘fucking’ way I’ll be craving ‘balut’ again any time soon.

Now, I’m a big fan of Tony Bourdain and his various travel/food shows and take no small amount of inspiration from his notoriously adventurous palate and his equally foul mouth. And while admittedly eating fetal duck egg isn’t quite downing a shot-glass full of vietnamese moonshine along with a still-beating cobra heart, I’d have to say it’s probably one of the strangest things I’ve ever consumed. Continue reading ‘Food Dare: ‘Fowl Times’’

Rockin’ The Mike: ‘Crikey! A Fake Tribute To Steve Irwin’

Nevermind that he was the 17th documented case of someone being killed by a stingray in the last 100 years. Nevermind that if only he’d been lucid enough (despite lethal combo of poison and adrenaline coursing through his veins and no doubt a rather freaked out devilfish stabbed to his chest) to have the good sense not to pull the stinger out of his heart, they could’ve taken him to the hospital and he’d’ve been alright.

Nevermind all of that. Pay attention to the fact that the world is short one more interesting character this morning.

It’s a little disingenuous to say that he was bound to die, considering how reckless his behaviour appeared at times, as a result of injuries received from one of the menagerie of dangerous animals that made up the cast of his weekly show. This was a freak accident, only the 4th ever in Australian waters. What’s more telling is that this was the first (and sadly the only) time he’d ever been bitten/stung/harmed in any way by any of the animals that graced his weekly programme illustrating the consumate care and respect he had for every member of the animal kingdom .
So Mike requested this post to acknowledge the affection that most people had for either the man or his antics.

Reaction to the news of his passing range from outpourings of genuine affinity for an uncompromising, passionately lived life, to complete disbelief at how absurd the end. Typically, sarcasm seems to help buffer the grief since Mike’s initial reaction was, in a ratchet-ed up ersatz aussie accent: ‘Crikey! I’m Dead’ which provoked chuckles and mild scorn from any girls within earshot at the climbing gym. Whatever way you’d like to approach it (in the spirit of Steve Irwin, carefully would be my suggestion) the fact is: some little girl is fatherless tonight. Luckily, like the rest of us, she will have hours of video of a well-lived life to turn to for inspiration.

Crikey! A Fake Tribute To Steve Irwin

Track Artist: Song:
1 Sly & The Family Stone Que Sera, Sera
2 Poets of Rhythm Eulogize The Source
3 Calypso King & The Soul Investigators Gator Funk
4 The Charlatans UK Weirdo
5 Ian Brown Dolphins Were Monkeys
6 British Sea Power Fear of Drowning
7 The Pixies Wave of Mutilation
8 Superchunk Water Wings
9 New Order Regret
10 Saturday Looks Good To Me Meet me by the Water
11 Band of Horses The Funeral
12 Jamie Liddell What’s The Use?
13 Broken Social Scene Pacific Theme
14 Radiohead Just
15 Blur Ambulance
16 Robert Pollard Psychic Pilot Clocks Out
17 Death In the Sea Bonny “Prince” Billy & Matt Sweney