Rockin’ The Mike: A Very Fake. Hallowe’en

 

It’s felt like far too long since I’ve seen or heard from Mike.  Less a ghost than a rumour, that seems our boy at the moment.  Or rather like some unutterable curse that purses the lips of devout friend and passing acquaintance alike, no one seems to be willing to speak of it.  Admittedly, I haven’t exactly been keeping up appearances myself lately.

Gimme The Gear(s): Threadless $10 Sale

This bit of swag is too good to miss!  Until tomorrow, the goodly mensches at Threadless are selling their stuff at an unbelieveable price. 

A Very ‘fake.’ Hallowe’en: submissions DEADline

Well it’s Friday the 13th and although I know some of you’ll be busy getting your Sarah Michelle Gellar on with the release of the much-hyped and most likely equally slow-paced ‘The Grudge 2′ (even the slightly superior Japanese version did precious little to hold my interest despite ‘Tino’s incessant chatter about what a moody piece it was…there’s a fine line between ’subtle’ and ’soporific’ ‘Tino…I thought calling it a moody piece was only half right).

Regardless of where you stand on the merits of japanese horror, you need to know this:  you have until midnight tonight (mmmwwwuuuuhahahaha!!!) to get your submissions in for the Hallowe’en Rockin’ The Mike. 

‘Real Horrorshow’: Hallowe’en Rockin’ The Mike DIY

Hellow folks.  Just thought I’d blog a quick call for some class participation.  As you know, there’s a shortage of really good seasonal music compilations out there (and those there are seem to skew towards the Christmas end of the holiday scale) so I though i’d remedy the sitch by asking for contributions to Rockin’ The Mike: A Very fake. Hallowe’en.  Anyone can contribute by leaving  your chosen artist and track name in the comments section.  If your track is selected for inclusion on the comp, you’ll receive a limited edition copy of the compilation which’ll include some fancy-schmancy album art designed by the editorial staff.  I’m looking for ’spooky’, ‘atmospheric’ or ‘thematic’ and am open to suggestion as long as it falls within those admittedly loose parameters.  There are a few rules though:

Gimme the Gear(s): The Big Beta Blowout Sale

Although summer only ‘officially’ ended a week ago, all wet, windy indications would put the actual date of its departure somewhere around mid-August. Fear not intrepid readers, through a semi-frequent dose of simulated light called ‘Gimme The Gear(s)’ we’ll vainly attempt to artificially brighten the darker corners of the bleak winter ahead with the bottled sunshine of retail therapy and the Fake. bake of conspicious consuption. It’s about the merch yo! Or, to put it another way, in the words of Bill Clinton: “It’s the economy, stupid!”

Food Dare: ‘Fowl Times’

Food and sex have been analogized ad nauseum and I find no small amount of delight in the fact that among the qualities they share is an interesting relationship to craving: it seems I always want more of either immediately after I’ve had some. But there’s no ‘fucking’ way I’ll be craving ‘balut’ again any time soon.

Now, I’m a big fan of Tony Bourdain and his various travel/food shows and take no small amount of inspiration from his notoriously adventurous palate and his equally foul mouth. And while admittedly eating fetal duck egg isn’t quite downing a shot-glass full of vietnamese moonshine along with a still-beating cobra heart, I’d have to say it’s probably one of the strangest things I’ve ever consumed.

Rockin’ The Mike: ‘Crikey! A Fake Tribute To Steve Irwin’

Nevermind that he was the 17th documented case of someone being killed by a stingray in the last 100 years. Nevermind that if only he’d been lucid enough (despite lethal combo of poison and adrenaline coursing through his veins and no doubt a rather freaked out devilfish stabbed to his chest) to have the good sense not to pull the stinger out of his heart, they could’ve taken him to the hospital and he’d've been alright.

Nevermind all of that. Pay attention to the fact that the world is short one more interesting character this morning.

It’s a little disingenuous to say that he was bound to die, considering how reckless his behaviour appeared at times, as a result of injuries received from one of the menagerie of dangerous animals that made up the cast of his weekly show. This was a freak accident, only the 4th ever in Australian waters. What’s more telling is that this was the first (and sadly the only) time he’d ever been bitten/stung/harmed in any way by any of the animals that graced his weekly programme illustrating the consumate care and respect he had for every member of the animal kingdom .
So Mike requested this post to acknowledge the affection that most people had for either the man or his antics.

Reaction to the news of his passing range from outpourings of genuine affinity for an uncompromising, passionately lived life, to complete disbelief at how absurd the end. Typically, sarcasm seems to help buffer the grief since Mike’s initial reaction was, in a ratchet-ed up ersatz aussie accent: ‘Crikey! I’m Dead’ which provoked chuckles and mild scorn from any girls within earshot at the climbing gym. Whatever way you’d like to approach it (in the spirit of Steve Irwin, carefully would be my suggestion) the fact is: some little girl is fatherless tonight. Luckily, like the rest of us, she will have hours of video of a well-lived life to turn to for inspiration.

Crikey! A Fake Tribute To Steve Irwin
Track	Artist:	Song:
1	Sly & The Family Stone	Que Sera, Sera
2	Poets of Rhythm	Eulogize The Source
3	Calypso King & The Soul Investigators	Gator Funk
4	The Charlatans UK	Weirdo
5	Ian Brown	Dolphins Were Monkeys
6	British Sea Power	Fear of Drowning
7	The Pixies	Wave of Mutilation
8	Superchunk	Water Wings
9	New Order	Regret
10	Saturday Looks Good To Me	Meet me by the Water
11	Band of Horses	The Funeral
12	Jamie Liddell	What’s The Use?
13	Broken Social Scene	Pacific Theme
14	Radiohead	Just
15	Blur	Ambulance
16	Robert Pollard	Psychic Pilot Clocks Out
17	Death In the Sea	Bonny “Prince” Billy & Matt Sweney

The Internet: Closed for Renovations

Hellow Kiddos.

Been awhile, I know. Believe me, no one's felt the persistent itch from the phantom limb of your company more keenly than your humble narrator here.

Nothing personal, y'understand. Technical Difficulties. Or so the Bell People said when informed that communications to and from the "Reichstag" had been completely cut off for the better part of the past week. So don't go getting all paranoid. it's not always about you, y'know.

In the time i've been 'away', i've been going through what i can only describe as information withdrawl accompanied by the usual physical inconveniences of night terrors, cold sweats and having to function day-to-day jittery as a treeful of squirrels– the rich digital tapistry of my life replaced with what can only describe as 'reality'.
Funny thing is, originally the likely suspect for the state i found myself in was 'human error'. (followed a close second by net neutrality being schiavo'd by a very maliable US congress).

Allow me to explain. Rewind.

After recently changing ISPs, it came time to inform Sympatico that they were no longer 'goed-out-with'. However, as the previous attempt of 'it's-not-you-it's-me' ISP contract severance was met with typical denial and atypically stern resistence which resulted in a sweeting of the terms of our contract, this time there was determination not to be seduced.

'I'm leaving the country soon', was the reason offered. Unlike using it on your erstwhile object of affection, it's much more plausible to an ISP.

Silence.

-Well then on behalf of Sympatico, I'd like to thank you for choosing us and hope that we can serve you again in the future. Says Wendy, my lovely CS rep.
Now free to openly pursue the formerly dirty little secret of my new ISP there was every optimistic feeling of a chapter closing.

But days later when the phone had been cut off I could only assume the worst…that some over-zealous customer service rep. (that's you Wendy) had thought they'd go above and beyond the call of duty and disconnect the phone as well, seeing as I wouldn't be needing it where I was going.

Imagine the creeping sense of backfire as once again you slink back to your ex and get ready to pile lie on top of lie in attempt to save face and deflect attention from the reality of the situation: it's-not-me-it's-you. No one wants to know they've been cheated on, especially not someone who still has power over you. poopy, lemme tell ya.

So courage was summoned and calls were made.

-It hasn't been cut off on our end which means it's a service issue. Said the smiling voice on the other end of the line (one of the great ironies of disrupted phone service being exactly how you sort it out without no phone. So I'm sure if her voice was smiling at all, it was due to the deliciousness of the predicament).

Well talk about getting let off the hook. How wonderful the moment when you're about to step onstage for an elabourate song and dance routine and it's pulled out from under you in with the tiniest shread of new info.

Phew.

-What about my 'rabid fanbase'?

-Sorry, sir. We'll have someone take care of it by the 14th.'

And true to their word, the phone's restored and fake. along with it. The past week has been difficult. The communications evquivalent of living in a cave, hermetically sealed away from everyone I love in the internets. And lordy how you've been missed. This time apart from blogging has truly broken the fingers of my vanity since I was only just starting to enjoy the idea that someone out there is tuning in.

Well now that the mea culpas have been taken care of and the realization dawns on you, dear reader, despite rumours of our apparent demise that even our supposed death was fake., believe that we're getting ready to tickle your pixels all summer long with loads of fresh new stories and even a suprise or two. Watch this space.

Rockin’ The Mike: The New Nancy Drew Mysteries

This mix was put together a few months back. I'm uploading it today since it's kinda topical– it's for the girl who has everything (including this mix on her iPod) on the occassion of her 29th!  Just thought i'd share it with the world. Happy birthday Nance.

The New Nancy Drew Mysteries
Track	Artist:	Song:
1	Azure Ray	The Devil's Feet
2	The Joggers	Hot Autism
3	Okkervil River	Black
4	Luna	Tiger Lily
5	The Velvet Underground	Femme Fatale
6	Robyn	Konichiwa Bitches
7	Edan	Funky Voltron (Ft. Insight)
8	The Jam	In The City
9	Guided By Voices	Jane Of The Waking Universe
10	The Zombies	Care Of Cell 44
11	Lewis Taylor	Lucky(Kruder & Dorfmeister Remix)
12	Feist	Tout Doucement
13	The Clash	Rudie Can't Fail
14	Black Star	Astronomy (8th Light)
15	The Shins	Mine's Not A High Horse
16	Devendra Banhart	Chinese Children
17	Bob Dylan	Isis
18	Gilberto Gil	Bat Macumba
19	Jamie Lidell	What's the Use
20	The Style Council	Walls Come Tumbling Down!
21	Duran Duran	The Chauffeur

What’s Your Powermove?: ‘The Show’ with Ze Frank

There are reasons why you should never spend your weekends without company. After spending the better part of the evening hours of this previous weekend left to my own devices, ostensibly trying to catch up on some sleep only to work myself into a mental lather through liberal use of motion sickness pills and too much Cherry Citrus Fresca– someone oughta put a recommended daily dose on those things– i found myself in a surreal headspace locked into a strange eliptical orbit between spastically paranoid 5am fits: wondering in a beckett-esque sorta way exactly why I currently had no friends and moreover exactly how long that state of affairs would continue. In that time i managed to: hyperventilate; read a few trembling paragraphs of Flann O’Brien’s ‘The Third Policeman’ (a book i’ve had in my library for seven years which i dare say is longer than the average ‘Lost’ fan); and sort through a fair number of metafilter posts. And i’m certainly glad i did since i came across a dandy little gem of a site that kept me company during my dark night of the soul and and provided hours of hilarity in the ‘waking’ hours that lay ahead.